roadtrippin’

we just finished our roadtrip series at Sandals and it was so powerful. The subject was faith and God has been working in my life and teaching me so much. one month ago i quit my FT job to work PT. I am now doing neither.

it’s a time of absolute confusion as far as where to go, where is God leading?
I know what I want to do. But I’m not going to be doing it tomorrow, not full-time, not paid.

Sunday night was a wonderful time to sit and talk with two dear single women, just like me. We all have similar desires, similar callings, and yet we aren’t there yet. It’s hard to read between the lines. It’s hard to hear God speak. He closed a door, to my relief, of a job that was temporary. I have no where to look except up. And yet I don’t want to wait passively. Waiting on the Lord means waiting in hope that He will provide, He will lead. I feel frustrated because I don’t know what path to step onto. The world is spinning in front of me and I don’t know when I should jump on. My desires and my gifts are in these categories all under ministry:

Music – Worship – Missions

God has clearly identified to me that he wants me to be a leader. He has given me experience in all of these areas.

There is a strong possibility that the third category above will be used for a short period of time in October. That still leaves a lot of questions. Like how to pay my bills for the next 3 months. And…and…and lots of questions.

I question the fact that if the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few….why is it so hard to become one of those workers, when I want to actively be a part of building God’s kingdom, to live for Him.

I wonder if I should be looking into further training, but I really don’t want to move or go far. I don’t know if I should pursue the Voice side of music or the worship side of missions by pursuing ethnomusicology to become an Arts Consultant. Neither is really what I really want to do. I just want to worship. I want to develop worshipers. I want to help people worship. I love planning worship. Love planning all the details that go into a church service.

That’s where I am right now.

Waiting in faith and in hope, knowing that God has good plans for me, trusting in his sovereignty despite the fact that not much makes sense right now.